Are You An Emotionally Intelligent Partner?

by Sally R. Connolly, LMFT and John E. Turner, LMFT


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Circle your answer to the following questions.

1.  Even though we disagree about the same things much of the time, we can still talk about those issues in respectful, caring ways. 

Yes            No 

2.  I feel respected and appreciated by my partner. 

Yes            No 

3. We have many more positive things happen in our daily lives, than negative ones.
Yes           No

4. We can share struggles that we have with others without giving each other unsolicited advice.
Yes            No

5. If I find myself starting to get upset when we disagree or he or she is talking with me about a problem, I can find a way to calm myself down, even if it means that I need to take a break. 

Yes           No

6. I am able to remain calm when having a disagreement with my spouse. 

Yes           No

7. When I talk, my partner listens. When my partner talks, I listen.
Yes            No

8. When we disagree, we find lots of ways to remind each other that a good relationship is more important than winning the argument.
Yes            No

9. Our intimate and sexual life is satisfying for us both.
Yes            No

10. I know my partners’ dreams and fears.
Yes            No

11. We fill each other in on lots that happens in our lives.
Yes            No

12. When we disagree, we do not automatically jump to negative thoughts about each other.
Yes            No

13. We know how to laugh and have fun with each other and do so often.
Yes            No

14. We frequently let each other know what we like and appreciate about each other and about our life together.
Yes            No

15. We reserve special relationship time for ourselves on a regular basis.
Yes            No

If you answered “yes” to 12 or more questions, congratulate yourself on knowing how to be a part of a healthy relationship.



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